Why leaders should talk about menopause at work
My first memory of a visible menopausal woman was Adrian Mole’s mum - telling him that the ‘worm had turned’ and setting up rotas for household chores. ‘The change’, as it was euphemistically called by the previous generation, was mostly associated in my mind with hot flushes and bra-burning feistiness.
In fact, until one of my older friends broke the ‘don’t talk about menopause until you are lost in the midst of it’ unwritten rule, seemingly adhered to by most of the population, that was about all I did know.
I was 43 when she started that conversation and it felt like an abstract thing that was going to happen to a much older me, some time in the future.
The reality is that the complex range of peri-menopausal symptoms galloped their way into my life soon after, without a hot flush in sight.
'Feels like progress'
The very act of talking openly about menopause, in a context like this, feels like progress. Despite the best efforts of Davina McCall, this remains a little understood and largely hidden phase of women's lives.
For me, my openness about my own experiences has been a journey. We have introduced a Menopause Policy at Big Education, and a part of that encourages women to speak to their line managers about what is happening for them, as a part of ensuring they are aware and can put any support in place. When I spoke to my (then) chair and vice-chair, who were from a different generation to me, they both showed their obvious surprise and discomfort at me raising the subject and didn’t know what to say! I don’t judge them for that - it’s just the reality that we have a long way to go in making this a subject that is easily ‘talk-about-able’.
What is the menopause?
So, the teacher in me wants to do a bit of explaining….
There are three hormones at play for women, oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. The classic hot flush symptoms are associated with a drop in oestrogen - and this in fact actually happens later on in the perimenopause process. Testosterone depletion is linked to falling libido and ‘get-up-and-go’ - and accessing testosterone on the NHS is an outrageously difficult business, a rant for another blog!
Progesterone often drops off first, with a set of less obvious, but quite challenging effects. My doctor calls progesterone ‘the calm down hormone’, and the fall in levels leads to symptoms which include anxiety, brain fog, sleeplessness, loss of confidence and a general sense of ‘not being yourself’. A delightful mix!!!
For me, this is what happened first. Recognising and identifying the ‘menopause-ness’ of these symptoms in the midst of a busy life in a senior role, as a mum of 2 girls with neuro-diversity, daughter to ageing parents, wife and friend, is not simple! That is one reason I have decided to speak so openly about my experiences and raise awareness. I am an HRT fan and can not believe the difference it has made to how I feel.
Our role as leaders
As leaders, we have many different responsibilities, some explicit and in a job description, and others that we can choose to acknowledge and step into. I have always been very visible about being a mum, for example, having started as a head in my late twenties and having both of my children as a serving head. The ripples sent out by images of me feeding my baby in a suit at a conference were astonishing to me, and I still have people all the time talking to me about the difference that my visible motherhood made for them.
Having talked openly now about my menopause experiences on social media, often in the context of my newfound addiction to cold water swimming (the menopausal woman’s dream…), I now am having a new set of conversations wherever I go.
I am not an expert. I am not a doctor. But I hope that by ‘going there’ (as the late, great Karen Giles would always say), and living a bit of my experiences in the open, it can support a more comfortable and informed set of conversations.
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Liz is a school and system leader, passionate about asking bigger questions about what school can or should be about and working with others to make that a reality. Liz began her headship back in 2006, and leads from a clear vision of education which acknowledges the reality of children as ‘whole beings’ with multifaceted needs and capabilities, who live within families and communities. She has worked throughout her career to design school practices which embrace this truth and avoid simplistic or reductive assumptions and approaches.
Liz is the co-founder and CEO of Big Education, a Multi-academy Trust running schools in underserved communities in inner London. Liz and the team are seeking to act as change makers in the wider system by modelling practices which embody ‘a big education’ - an education of the ‘heart, head, and hand’. They run a number of projects and programmes, including Rethinking Assessment, Rethinking Leadership, the ‘Rethinking School’ project and the Big Education Leadership Programme, to facilitate innovation, build capacity in others and advocate for change. Liz is part of the Bell childcare review for the Labour party.
Liz has a particular interest in developing values-led leadership, and has worked extensively as a speaker, trainer and coach. As mum to two young girls, Ella and Alys, Liz works flexibly to manage her roles. She’s also made lots of mistakes in her career and tries to model being a learner and avoid the trappings of ‘superhero’ leadership.